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Taprootoverload22
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Name: Ali
Country: United States
State: Washington
Birthday: 9/22/1988
Gender: Female
Interests: my interests r music, my bands, my bass, a inline, and a being weird,and writing stuff and a hanging with me homies and a eating food cuz its good and being a dumbass and well yeah theres probably way more!!
Expertise: a i guess ppl say im good at bass and a writing and well a being weird!! yeah! other then that im just ur average blonde!
Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  taprootfan666
MSN: ademafan2004
Yahoo:  ademafan2004
Member Since:
4/29/2004
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| k my myspace is up... its www.myspace.com/kiss_the_jew creative name eh? lol PEACE and LOVE | | |
| okay people i am NOT gay NOT. I love gay people though. In fact I have a gay uncle and he's like the coolest person ever! I also happen to have a lot of gay and bi friends. I also have a boyfriend. And no it's not Mike again. I wouldn't make the same mistake a thousandth time lol. His name is Eric and me and him had a little fight well not a fight i just gave him the silent treatment thanks to some shitty advice from my friend who is supportive and awesome but a tad harsh lol. we call him coolwhip yes thats the whipcream no its not spray cheese. I am creating a myspace and in the process of fixing it up. I'll let you know when its all finished and perfect then I'll put the link on here. Im surprised people even still go on xanga. I'm really curious to see who this Anonymous person is commenting on my little chatter box. I'm not mad I used to be mistaken for gay all the time because I dressed like a guy. I dont anymore though so yeah lol well im happy being straight but ill let you know if i decide to become a rug muncher k anonymous. then ill give u my number and u can call me. PEACE and LOVE. | | |
| An old friend of mine is dead...but I don't want to talk about that. I am writing this as a final good bye to all of those who read this. My old entries will always still be here but new ones will be very rare so I'll bid you all good bye.
Love is a fucked up emotion. It toys with all your beleifs. It toys with dreams and reality. It toys with your hopes. Love blinds you from good and bad, right and wrong. The perfect example would be Joelene. She is so fucking in love with John, and I honestly dont think Ill ever understand it but eh who am I to judge. She has dreams of a beautiful wedding, kids, maybe a nice house even. Knowing Joelene, she probably wants to give her children a better child hood than she herself had and I beleive she will do that. She is going places in this world. She just doesnt see that John isn't. He could if he wanted to but he doesnt. This wedding she dreams of wont happen. And if it does, by some strange grace of the devil, it won't be anything like it is in her dreams. Now Joelene is just an example. I am an example as well. I had dreams that someday Mike and I would be together and I'd be swept up in this great amazing thing called love. Now with him I've hit rock bottom. There is no going back to how it was. Things will never be the same between us and I think I am slowly accepting that. Little by little I'm picking up the peices of my heart that have hit the floor and I'm mending them back together. For someone you love for someone you thought loved u to say i dont love you anymore...God I dont think I could ever describe the way it felt. Its the same sick feeling I get when I see Shea in the halls or speak her name or even hear someone talking about her except its worse much worse. Stronger even. and I never thought that was possible. Shea is another good example for me to use. Most of you don't know this, but my first love was a girl. And no it's not the way you are thinking I never wanted to do her or anything. I don't think any of you could ever truly understand how I felt and even still do feel about her. My friendship with Shea was the most fucked up thing ever and I hadn't seen it coming. I was blinded by happiness and love. She filled this void, this hole that developed when I lost a good friend that no one could have filled, not even Mikey. To be totally honest, loving Shea was probably the best thing that could have ever happened to me. To those of you who are reading and are listening, fall in love because it is one experence everyone should know. Love is the most fucked up emotion and I love it. | | |
| Once again I find myself jumping to conclusions except this time I wasn't the only one. I apologize for anything I siad or did to hurt you Joelene. You have tought me something today. You have tought me that you just can't turn your backs on your friends no matter the situation. You are sad and confused right now and it is the time where you need us the most. It didn't quite occur to me that he broke your heart until I saw your face today and it pained me to see your eyes so red, the aftermath of tears. It didn't quite occur to me that yesterday you sucked up all your feelings in concideration of John's birthday party. You have something I lack. Maturity. I am done being imature and selfish towards your relationship with John. All that really matters through all of this is that you are happy. Yeah maybe he did kiss another girl and then lied about it. But the truth is you love him and I saw it in the pain on your face. Do what you're heart says. Don't listen to our selfish words. We love you and the truth is we all know we'd rather see you smile and your face glow than see those puffy red eyes ever again. Look at your hand Joelene. You are still wearing the ring. | | |
| I woke up this morning feeling good. It was the feeling of fufillment in my chest that got me to wake. I smiled and showed my great mood off to all who would see. Most probably wondered what the cause of my super good mood was. I was awoke early to take my sister to soccer and I didn't complain once. I gazed at the sky; gray with bits of blue, the sun desperatly trying to break through the clouds. My heart smiled forcing a smile upon my face and kept it from dying. I thought "this is it. this is what it feels like to help. Finally, shes listening." Then came the phone call. It was a phone call I knew was coming but rejected the thought of. Sarah is on the other line. She tells me. She tells me you went back to him. She tells me you went back to him in spite of what happened. In spite of what Laura saw. Before I didn't use names but Joelene today is different. This news brought this feeling...the same feeling both Sarah and Laura feel at this moment. It feels like some one is squeezing my heart. It makes me afraid to move in fear of my heart being ripped out. Tears well up in my eyes as I yell obsenities into the phone. I tell her how stupid you are. I tell her I'm done. She agrees. She is done too. And well Laura. I beleive she may be madder than I am. She hates John more than me, which I thought was physically impossible. I mean after all, Laura saw Him kiss Her. Nathan saw Him look directly into Laura's eyes. Laura and Nathan saw him bolt away ready to make up the perfect story to explain what they saw. "50% of what you see and what u hear isnt real" John I have one thing to say to you. You are a mother fucking idiot and I hate you. Eyes dont lie Joelene. Ears don't lie Joelene. Mouths lie Joelene. He lies Joelene. She lies Joelene. The way I see it is you had a magic key in your hand Joelene. It could have opened one of two cages but only one. After one the magical key would dissapear. In one cage is Us. Your friends. The ones who REALLY love you. In the other is Him. What cage did you choose to open? His. Leaving Us, your friends, to starve and die. You have taken a knife to our backs Joelene. At the point where we trusted and cared for you most, you stabbed us in the back. Tears flow as I write this knowing what I am about to do. I can't play this game anymore. You could care less about us Joelene and you have finally proved that. So I bid you good bye and I hope some day when you look back on this, you feel like shit for what you made Us, your friends, those who really love u, do. We are all done with Him and we are done with YOU. You don't trust us you dont beleive us. You hurt us in the worst kind of way. May you always remember...You chose Him over Us. | | |
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